My New Heart

soooo 20 years ago today i got a new heart....20 years ago today as a little innocent unknowing 5 year old, i asked Jesus into my heart. did i know what that meant??? i have no idea...if i did or not but Jesus did.

In the last twenty years God and i have deffientely been on a crazy journey. There has been sin, doubt, love, learning, falling, getting back up, falling down again...but one thing has stayed consistent. His love for me. His continual seeking after me. His pateince.

i remeber when i was 5, as a precious little girl, i asking Jesus into my heart, I remeber when i descided that i knew how to live my life better than God, he was there. I remeber when i debated throwing in the towel, so desperately wanting and thinking i knew how to be the happiest, he was there. i remeber when i starting to pursue Jesus as a boyfriend, and daiting him and learning to hear his vioce, he was there... i remeber when i gave JEsus my second decade, wanting it to be his, realizing that only he could fill my deepest longings, he was there, i remeber when Jesus held me as i found out my best friend had died, he was there, i remeber being held over and over again in the next years as i lay in his arms with a broken heart, he was there, i remeber when i descided to trust him, that he he knew best, he was there, i remeber when i realized that i didnt believe that God was good, i knew that he was but i didnt believe it, he was there, and ohhh i remeber how precious it was as he took the lies and replaced them with truth, and as my heart down to its core started to believe that God was good..oh he was there...i remeber when fear use to rule in my heart, and i would tremble wishing i could die as i hid in my closet, my God was there, as i sinned, repented, sinnged repented, oh he was there....hes always been there...the last twenty years is a journey of faithfullness...of God patiently loving his little girl....

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you: I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh" Ezekiel 36:26

Song of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_t_87NyHx0&feature=related

"and if our God is for us then who can stop us!!!??!!? and if our God is with us then what can stand against?!?!?!?!"

Love Woke Me Up...

today has just been wonderful...wonderful...

there has bit alot of chaos lately. unfortutuately i havnt written about it. basically life has been busy with the usual work and social stuff but then my grandma went to be with Jesus...

i really need to write and process about that expierence. ok so i am completely exhausted. completely. and have not been sleeping enough...This morning i woke up in a fright thinking that i had slept and missed my morning meetings. Fortunately when i saw what time it was, i realized that i had awaked 25 minutes(ish) before my alarm was to go off. I felt fresh and awake and instantly felt as if Jesus has woken me up to spend time with him. And that is what i did. and it was glorious!!!!

So i am having a wonderful time hanging out with Jesus on the way to...

to be continued....